Parenting stress alters the link between attachment avoidance and sexual satisfaction in couples with children

Higher levels of attachment avoidance in both mothers and fathers were associated with lower sexual satisfaction in themselves, as reported in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality.

Romantic attachment and sexual satisfaction are closely interconnected, with attachment security fostering intimacy and satisfaction, while attachment insecurity (anxiety or avoidance) undermines these outcomes. Parenting stress, a chronic stressor tied to the demands of child-rearing, often results in decreased attention to romantic relationships. Mariève Vandervoort and colleagues examined parents with school-aged children to explore how parenting stress moderates the link between attachment orientations and sexual satisfaction.

This study included 103 mixed-sex couples from two Canadian provinces, all of whom had at least one child between the ages of 6-11 years. Participants were recruited through community advertisements, and data were collected during a home visit, where both parents completed self-report questionnaires independently. The study drew on data from the second wave of a longitudinal project, conducted approximately 4.5 years after the first wave.

Romantic attachment was assessed using the short-form Experiences in Close Relationships scale (ECR-12), which measures attachment anxiety (e.g., fear of rejection, excessive reassurance-seeking) and attachment avoidance (e.g., reluctance to depend on others, emotional withdrawal). Sexual satisfaction was measured using the Global Measure of Sexual Satisfaction (GMSEX), which evaluates the overall quality of sexual experiences on dimensions such as pleasure, fulfillment, and positivity.

Parenting stress was assessed with the Parenting Stress Index (PSI), which measures stress related to parenting responsibilities, including perceived difficulty in managing child-related demands. By analyzing responses from both partners, the study examined how each parent’s attachment style and stress levels influenced their own and their partner’s sexual satisfaction.

Higher attachment avoidance in both mothers and fathers was linked to lower sexual satisfaction in themselves. Fathers’ attachment avoidance also negatively affected mothers’ sexual satisfaction, suggesting that emotional withdrawal may undermine intimacy and fulfillment for their partners. However, attachment anxiety in either parent was not significantly associated with sexual satisfaction, contrasting with some previous research findings.

A key finding was that fathers’ parenting stress moderated the link between their attachment avoidance and their partner’s sexual satisfaction. Surprisingly, as fathers’ parenting stress increased, the negative effect of their attachment avoidance on mothers’ sexual satisfaction weakened. This suggests that, in higher-stress situations, fathers’ avoidant tendencies may become less relevant, either because stress elicits greater empathy from their partners or because parenting demands overshadow the influence of attachment styles.

Of note is that the sample consisted primarily of well-functioning, high-income, heterosexual couples, limiting generalizability to diverse populations.

The study, “The moderating role of parenting stress when it comes to romantic attachment and sexual satisfaction,” was authored by Mariève Vandervoort, Michelle Lonergan, Marie-France Lafontaine, and Jean-François Bureau.

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